


Haiku Time!

by Quihi



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Bad Poetry, Gap Filler, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-03
Updated: 2011-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:15:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29189916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quihi/pseuds/Quihi
Summary: In The Titan's Curse, Percy promised Apollo a haiku about their quest. Now, after The Last Olympian, Apollo is redeeming that promise. What will Apollo think of them?
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Adopted from avrilkitties, who wrote the first two chapters here, which I edited:  
> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7533747/1/Haiku_Time

**[Apollo]**

I was using my awesome godly powers one day and I was looking at my past. I stopped when I got to one of me and Uncle P.'s kid, Percy Jackson, in some car thing and I was telling him: "Get some sleep! And when you return, I expect a good haiku about your journey!" That's when I decided to go to Camp Half-Blood to see if Percy had made that haiku yet. In the current time, not the memory time, of course.

* * *

**[Percy]**

I was eating lunch when Apollo suddenly appeared right on top of my table-and my lunch. "DUDE! I WAS GONNA EAT THAT!" I yelled at him, obviously mad. I knew that I shouldn't yell at Olympians because of their ability to turn me into a pile of ashes but I was really hungry! Plus, I figured they wouldn't kill me after I'd saved Olympus.

"Yeah yeah, whatever," Apollo said. "Anyway, I want a haiku! One about that quest you went on when you guys had to save Artemis!"

"Okayyy... Umm..." I said. "Here it is:

_"We saved Artemis  
_ _We also saved Annabeth  
_ _Haikus are random!"_

I told him my haiku proudly. It seemed pretty good to me but Apollo did not seem pleased. He accepted it anyway. "I'll be back..." he said threateningly. And with that he left. I had forgotten that the whole camp was there. The next thing I heard was…

"You write poems, Prissy?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was additionally written by avrilkitties.

**[Apollo]**

I was NOT satisfied with Percy's poem! I mean, the last line was horrible! I told Hermes about it and he said something that made me realize what a genius he is. He said,

"Why don't you just go back and demand another poem?" Wow. How did I not think of that? I guess I said it out loud because Artemis walked by and said,

"Because you're stupid?" Ouch. That one was mean.

"MEANIE!" I yelled at her, even though I knew that 'meanie' wasn't a word. She smirked and walked away. I frowned and went to Camp Half-Blood again.

* * *

I arrived at camp and looked around for Percy. I finally found him sparring with Clarisse, a kid from the Ares cabin. After about five tense minutes, Percy won, his sword at Clarisse's neck. She spat on the ground.

"You got lucky, punk!" she yelled as she walked away. He turned around and saw me.

"Um, what are you doing here?" he asked me.

"Your last haiku wasn't so good, so I want another one!" I told him, hoping for a better poem this time.

"Okay...let me think for a second...umm...I got it! I think." He recited his poem (privately, this time):

"We saved some people  
And an Olympian, too.  
Quests are so not fun."

* * *

**[Percy]**

Ugh, he's back again! He wanted another poem so I thought for a minute or two and then I recited my poem. He still didn't look satisfied. He simply left in a flash without saying anything.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! First chapter that's actually mine! So you may notice some difference in the writing.

**[Percy]  
**

The next day, Apollo dropped by camp again. Come to think of it, his kids must be getting jealous that I get to see him so much more. "Here for another haiku?"

"Yes. Write me another one! I'll come back every day until I'm satisfied! And I'll give Camp Half-Blood bad luck if you take you long."

"Fine, fine," I answered. "Let me think a moment."

"OK, but don't take too long!" Apollo said impatiently.

I had to give him something. "OK, here it is. Hope you like it.

"We saved your sister.  
But some people died as well.  
Appreciate it!"

Apollo looked slightly happier, but not much. Maybe they had to be more like his, as he said, "That one's actually better. Keep it about the same quality, but try again tomorrow," while he disappeared as though folding away.

* * *

**[Apollo]**

Percy Jackson recited his haiku, which was better that time. But still! To think that he was the one that saved Artemis! And he acts like he should be happy that Artemis was saved (and he's probably right, though I hate to say it). Anyway, unfortunately, if they get much better they'll be insulting me. That wouldn't be good either. Though, there are already _mortals_ that think they write better haikus than me. And others who hate haikus. I mean, really. They're awesome.

Well, I'll have to go back tomorrow. Maybe I should ask my kids to help him. That's what _Artemis_ would say. But that's probably because she's jealous that I _have_ kids who actually have talents. Whatever. I could always ask Hermes for advice.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now for the fun part. This is a bunch longer, though I'm not good with comedy.

**[Apollo]  
**

I was wandering around Olympus the next day, the fourth day to ask Percy Jackson for a haiku. Artemis made me an eclipse for once, so I'd have some time to kill. None of me had to drive the sun. There was no need to ask Hermes for advice, because on my own I'd decided to ask my kids if his haiku was still inadequate.

Around eleven in the morning, I dropped by their demigod camp. I didn't see Percy Jackson at first, so I decided to drop in on my children, who I saw practicing their archery, as usual.

"Hey, kids! Do you know who I am?" I asked the eight kids practicing archery together, ages ranging from seven to seventeen. Six out of the eight arrows hit the bull's eye, and one more was not far off. The youngest barely made the target, but he had only been training for a week and a half, my newest claim.

"Hi Dad!" shouted the five oldest, recognizing me immediately. The younger ones stared at me, wide-eyed with surprise. They nervously said, "Hello."

"It's fine, Jack, Sophie, Fred, I won't hurt my own kids! But I've got a job for all of you. You know Percy Jackson?" I asked, getting back to the job at hand.

"Of course we know him! He's the best!" immediately said Crystal, the second oldest (who appeared to like him, despite that Percy already had a girlfriend. Well, hopefully it wouldn't lead to a problem, which it shouldn't, as she had no chance).

"I've got a job for you. He promised to write me a haiku a couple of years ago, and as you saw a couple nights ago, he's not very good. I need you to help him with his poetry. Can I count on you guys?"

"Of course!" they all yelled, eager to impress me. I didn't visit them as often as I should have. "You can count on us, Dad," the oldest, Will, said. That, I believed.

* * *

**[Percy]  
**

As I came out of the showers after sword fighting, I saw Apollo waiting for me. Again! Well, I had to expect it. Maybe I could ask Annabeth for help if it still wasn't very good.

Apollo said, "Hey, Jackson! Got another haiku?"

I replied without thinking,

"Here is my haiku  
About our quest to the West.  
Are you happy now?"

"Hmm… it was OK. I was thinking you should ask for some help though. You seem to need it."

"Well, thank you. I'll try to improve. Like, maybe I'll think of it before you get here."

"Whatever you find best. But I'll be back tomorrow!"

Ugh. Off to find Annabeth for some help.

* * *

**[Annabeth]**

Percy seemed to be distracted lately. He had mentioned something about Apollo wanting a haiku, but I wasn't really sure what. I was working on some more plans for redesigning Olympus (it took all of my time right now) when Percy came over to the Athena cabin!

"Hey Annabeth!" called Percy from the doorway.

"Hey, Percy. What's up?" I asked.

"Can you help me? Like, in private?" he asked, a bit nervously. I wondered what this was about.

"Sure. Just give me two minutes to pick up." Percy stood impatiently outside the cabin, waiting for me.

I saved my document on my laptop (made specially for demigods by Hephaestus Inc.) and tucked by papers away on a bookshelf. Heading outside, I said, "Want to head over to the beach?"

"Sure," he answered, as I knew he was more comfortable by the water.

"What's this about?"

"Remember when you got kidnapped?" he started. I nodded. "Well, near the beginning of the quest, we met up with Apollo in disguise. He told me that he'd want a good haiku about it later. And a few days ago, he showed up at camp asking for it, as you saw."

"Of course. Well, everybody saw, Seaweed Brain. Has he returned?"

"Every day since then. It's driving me crazy, because I can't come up with a good enough haiku."

"And you want my help?" I finished, nodding along.

"Umm… yeah."

"What do you have so far?"

"Let's see… off the top of my head, the best one I can come up with goes something like this:

"We saved Artemis  
And the entire world too.  
Appreciate it!"

"Well… I'm surprised Apollo didn't like anything like that. I've heard that's a bit like the kind of haikus he writes nowadays."

"He said the one like that was O.K."

"I don't know, Percy… maybe you should ask the kids in the Apollo cabin. They would probably know better."

"True… I'll try that later… or tomorrow, I guess. Thanks, Wise Girl."

"It's nothing."


	5. Chapter 5

**[Will]**

Percy Jackson! Considering how well-known and great he was, the Apollo cabin had to help him a lot. He was friends with everyone, but he was good at most stuff. Well, there was still some time before dinner, but Percy was nowhere to be seen. Whatever.

Fred pointed toward the beach. "Is that him over there?"

I looked where Fred pointed. Percy was walking towards the main part of camp with Annabeth. "Yeah. Let's wait a few minutes before going over there, though." I didn't want to interrupt their conversation.

Sophie almost immediately said, "Has it been long enough?"

"No, it hasn't yet been, Sophie. I'll tell you when."

"Okay."

We stood, some of the other kids chatting. I watched them, to make sure they stayed out of trouble, and Percy, waiting for him to be available. When he left Annabeth and started heading towards his cabin, I said, "We can go talk to him now. Ready, guys?"

"We're ready!" they chorused. We headed over to intercept him as he headed to his cabin.

"Percy!" I shouted.

"Will!" Percy replied.

"Umm… Apollo asked us to help you with some haiku…"

"Yeah, that. Give me two minutes and I'll be ready to work on it."

"OK," I said. We stood uncertainly while we waited.

"I'm back. So yeah. On a quest a few years ago, you know, the one in the winter with the Hunters, when-"

"We know which one. The one where you had to save Artemis, and Annabeth, and Bianca and Zoe- Well, at least some of us definitely remember it pretty well."

"What happened to Bianca and Zoe, Will?" quietly asked Sophie, as the younger campers had not been there then.

"They… erm… they… Why don't you ask Crystal?"

"OK! Crystal, what happened to Bianca and Zoe?"

While Crystal answered their questions, I said to Percy, "I'm back."  
Percy laughed, saying, "Well, near the beginning of the quest, I met Apollo in disguise, but I figured out who he was. He wanted me to promise to make him a haiku about it, but I guess we both forgot until now. And he 'isn't satisfied' with any of them."

"Of course not," I sighed. "He has high, well, specific standards, I'll say."

"That's certainly true. Well, he was happiest with one a bit like this, and this is the one I have in my mind right now:

"We saved Artemis  
And the entire world too.  
Appreciate it!"

"That's not bad. I guess we can work from there. Maybe it was the third line he didn't like."

Sophie, who now understood what the quest had been about and what had happened in it, said, "It could be 'Some people died too.'"

Crystal said, "So that would make:

"We saved Artemis  
And the entire world too.  
Some people died too.

"I'm thinking maybe we should get rid of one of the 'toos'. The second line could be 'And the rest of the whole world.'"

"Or it could be, 'And many other people,'" suggested Jack.

Isabel, another camper in the Apollo cabin, aged fourteen, suggested, "We could put a comma after 'Artemis' and make the second line 'Other people, and the world.'"

"That's a good idea," commented Percy.

"We saved Artemis,  
Other people, and the world.  
But some people died."

I said, "Wow! That's a bunch better. Though maybe-"

"Wait! I just got a good idea," Percy interrupted.

"We saved Artemis  
And we rescued the whole world.  
You were a big help."

"Yeah! That's a good idea," commented Crystal.

"Want to try that tomorrow?" I asked.

"OK!" answered Percy. "Maybe I'll finally be done.

* * *

**[Percy]  
**

Well, hopefully this would be it. The haiku we came up with seemed pretty good. I changed a bunch of it myself. I wrote it down so I wouldn't forget before the next day. Maybe this would be it finally!

* * *

**[Apollo]  
**

Maybe I'd only gave to go back once or twice! Well, eclipses don't last forever. I suppose I'd better go thank Artemis. She did work overtime so I got some time off.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, guys!

**[Apollo]  
**

The fifth haiku today! Maybe this one will be it. I mean, he got help, I'm pretty sure. I kind of hoped it would be good, so I could be done with this, but on the other hand, I almost wanted it to keep going.

I headed down to Camp Half-Blood. Seeing all the campers at lunch, I decided that it might be a good idea to wait a bit so I didn't startle them all again. That might not be the best way to get a good haiku, I realized. Therefore I headed over to the archery range, decided it was too easy, and teleported to the other side of camp to shoot. Every one was right on target.

About half an hour later, the campers finished eating. They began returning to their cabins to rest or work on- oh, whatever it is they work on. Percy, coming with his friends, started heading back. I left the archery range (and where _I'd_ been shooting from, for that matter), recovered my arrows, and went to confront Percy Jackson.

* * *

**[Percy]  
**

After lunch, I headed back to the Poseidon cabin, to relax for a bit and maybe IM my mom. But on the way, I saw Apollo. I said to my friends, "Whoops. Apollo again. Better go tell him my haiku!" and headed over to meet him.

Kneeling, I said, "I have my haiku ready."

Apollo said, "Sounds good. Let's hear it."

I immediately recited the haiku that had been agreed on without any introduction or conclusion at the end. Annabeth had also agreed that it was good.

"We saved Artemis  
And we rescued the whole world.  
You were a big help."

Apollo considered it for a moment, before saying, "OK. I guess that's pretty good. I accept your haiku!"

"Thank you, Lord Apollo."

After a few minutes of silence, Apollo said, "I've got an idea! Why don't you recite your haiku for all the other Olympians?"

Not wanting to torture the gods, I said hesitantly, "I'm not sure I should waste your time that way. Really, I think it's fine to just leave it at this…"

"No, come on, you can do it. Don't be nervous. I'll go tell them now."

"Lord Apollo, it's really alright… you don't have to do that… I think it's fine."

"I'm sure they'd love to hear it. And if I told it to them, do you think they'd listen to it?"

Honestly, I couldn't blame the other gods for not wanting to hear another Apollo-esque haiku. "Maybe you could tell them it was by me…"

"I suppose I could… Why don't I go ask Lord Zeus right now?"

"If you want to…"

"I'll be back in a minute! Or a few. Or maybe a bunch…" Apollo trailed off as he disappeared.

Half and hour later, Apollo returned. He said to me, "I told it to Hermes. But none of the other gods wanted to hear it."

"What did Hermes think of it?" I asked, curious.

"He said it wasn't bad!" said Apollo, impressed.

"That's great!" I answered.

"So… Want to write haikus about your other quests?" asked Apollo.

"Erm… No thank you," I answered, not really wanting to have to make up three more haikus.

"OK then! Well,

"I liked your haiku.  
Goodbye for awhile now!  
This haiku is great."

"Goodbye, Lord Apollo," I replied, glad to be done.

I returned to my cabin, relieved to have the haiku off of my mind forever.

"Hey, Percy! How'd it go?" my friends called to me.

"Good, thanks! Want to go swimming in the lake?"

"Great idea!"

*splash* *splash* *splash*


End file.
